Wishy Washy
by Pocky King Windy
Summary: Yaoi: Yohji x Omi, Ken x Ran - The great Kudou Yohji, king of love, decides to sit down and write his love of his life (one sided at the moment) a story depicting his heartfelt desires. Meanwhile, Ken and Ran have a spat in the kitchen.


Wishy Washy

by Windy McDohl

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Takehito Koyasu © or Project Weiß ©. The fanfiction belongs to me.

Warning: Yaoi, please don't read if you don't like this. Flamers are retards. Nothing to learn from them, so there! Take that, Reiji! Meow ha! XD Some cursing is involved too, but it's pretty slight.

Plot Cockroach: After a long time of not writing (I decided to give up so that the younger generation who've watched Gluhen can write them… but with the lack of Yohji x Omi fics… ;___; I gave in.) I've decided to write one… I know I know! I write the same boring pairings over and over again but trust me, it's a lot better if I kept off meddling with other pairings that will make a lot of readers mad. Also, I lost Plot Cockroach-chan. I didn't really dare look in the cracks where cockroaches live… because… I'M SCARED OF ROACHES! There, I said it… *Goes to corner to mope because he feels like a wimp for not being there to rescue Plot Cockroach-chan*

Pairing: Yohji x Omi, Ken x Ran

Summary: The great Kudou Yohji, king of love, decides to sit down and write his love of his life (one sided at the moment) a story depicting his heartfelt desires. Meanwhile, Ken and Ran have a spat in the kitchen.

Note: The characters look like that from the manga. Ignores Gluhen completely. The stars and popular people in their world are from different manga titles.

_________________

"OH~~ what a beautiful mornin', what a beautiful day—"

"Aww, shuddup!"

Ken was unusually grumpy that morning. Yohji getting up early and spoiling their rest didn't make it any better. Maybe it was because Ken harbored an extreme hatred towards Yohji's bad English, or maybe even his tone-deaf singing. It was like ASK trying to imitate Rikki in singing 'Sutekidane', and they did badly in that field. Take that and compare it to Yohji. Now _that_ was optimum annoyance.

"OHHH~~~ the birds in the trees are singin', the buds are bloomin' in May—"

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!"

"Get up, get up, KenKen my love!" Yohji irrepressibly pulled the covers off his partner for the day. Ken groaned. He hated shifts with Yohji. Why was Yohji so annoying today? Why was Yohji so active today? Oh why did they make him stay home to get a good night's rest instead of letting him go out and get smashed so that he wouldn't bother Ken this morning? Why? WHY?

"WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU SO HAPPY THIS MORNING?"

"I had a dream last night."

"I don't wanna hear this!"

"There was this fairy and he—uh, she was hot."

"I'm not listening!"

"Then we kissed and it was electricity baby. Oh sweet, sweet lovin'…"

"I can't hear you! Am not hearing you! Lalalala…."

"Did I tell you that fairy was Aya?"

"YOU BASTARD!" Ken leapt up and pinned Yohji down, strangling him. Yohji chuckled in between gasps for air.

"Ah ha… ha, ha… gah… brrphh… ha hahahahahahah!"

"Will you two _please_ shut up and get back to sleep?" a bleary-eyed Aya appeared at the doorway. It wasn't a very pleasant thing to have Aya be polite, saying 'please'. That was usually a bad thing. The redhead then perceived that Ken was pinning Yohji to the bed and Yohji was laughing and looking _alert_ for once. "Oh… In case you forgot, it's a holiday today. The shop may be closed but that's no reason to keep anyone awake by your animalistic, primal," Aya made a face of disgust, "lovemaking."

The door slammed shut.

"Ooh… somebody's jealous."

"Shit…! AYA! Aya, it's not like that…" Ken rushed out, his legs tangling up with his bedsheets. "Aya, A—Ahhh!"

"Ouch, that must really hurt," Yohji commented from the bed, hearing Ken's not-so-graceful tumble down the steps of their stairs. "Stark naked too."

"Damn it! Hidaka!!"

Yohji couldn't help chuckling. Oh, he hadn't forgotten that it was a holiday that day. It was nice to actually get into the brunet's nerves, if you know what he means. Ken angry was adorable. Not to mention dangerous, but it was worth it if you were an assassin too and lived with a bunch of people who wouldn't mind helping you out of a sticky situation like this. Take Aya for example. For all everyone knows, one glance or a rare smile from him would make Ken melt into a puddle of chocolate goo. It didn't work for Yohji, but it did work for Omi. Omi was a lover of 'nice and shiny'. Smiles are 'nice and shiny' in his books.

"Yohji-kun!" that was Omi bursting into the room. "There you are! You've got to help us! Ken-kun and Aya-kun are having this awful fight downstairs… they'll kill each other!"

He began to drag the scantily clad Yohji after him, never pausing to look to see that Yohji was wearing only his underwear. They made it downstairs rather bumpily. Yohji had his eyes glued to their chibi's fine behind. Omi had slept with nothing on but a pale blue tank top and shorts… very short shorts at that.

Ah, but the beauty of summer.

Yohji hurriedly stuffed some tissue he had caught along his way to the kitchen up his nose to stop the blood from flowing freely. He could now distinctly hear Ken's yells, but none of Aya's voice. And there were the cast of the Koneko no Sumu Ie – the kind boy-next-door, Ken, wearing nothing but a blanket; the icicle, Aya, wearing nothing but a loose, oversized shirt with his black underwear; the womanizing (or currently bishounenizing) Yohji, clad in nothing but boxers with little heart shapes printed on it; and the cheerful Omi, dressed up like the rock-singer Shuichi sluttily does for his novelist Yuki.

"It's not like that! AYA! Why don't you EVER listen to me?"

"Your affair with Kudou is no concern of mine, Hidaka."

"There you go again! Why must you always use our surnames? I can't tell whether you're pissed or you're not!"

"I don't intend for anyone to know how I feel, thank you very much."

"Well I do! You're such a prick, Aya!"

"Wow. Prick. A new word… so far I've been called 'bitch', 'barbarian' and 'redheaded devil'. Go on. Add another."

"You're impossible!" Mount Ken erupted.

"Hn." Aya shrugged and resumed brewing coffee for everyone.

"GAAAAAAH—"

"Aya-kun! Ken-kun! Don't fight!" Omi rushed over to pull Ken off the table.

"We're not fighting," both Ken and Aya turned to Omi, snarling. Their resident hacker backed off, his eyes wide and shining with tears. Ah, Omi's secret weapon. When all sense of reasoning fails, try crocodile tears. Ken and Aya stopped bickering, staring at him.

"I hate you," Omi hissed, flinging himself dramatically out of the kitchen… before he hit the table leg. "GAH!" He got up and flung himself out of the kitchen, racing up the stairs.

Aya and Ken ran after him, making mother hen-like sounds.

Yohji sat down at the table, signing as he grinned. That was their dysfunctional little family. He was rather fond of it, actually. It had a mom, Aya; a dad, Ken; their baby, Omi; and their deranged Uncle Yohji. Given, they were all men, but that made things easier. There wasn't any woman to yell at them for leaving the toilet seat up, for squeezing toothpaste from the center of the tube, for leaving their laundry on the floor and for ordering pizza whenever they were too lazy to cook. Besides, they could walk around naked in the house when towels were at a nil count.

But on that morning, Yohji was a changed man. There was a little truth in his dream, except that fairy hadn't been a she, and that fairy wasn't Aya. He sighed again, this time of a lost cause.

There were so many things you could do to show someone you loved him or her… they've all been overused. For example, screaming out your undying affection in public sounded romantic, but Shindou Shuichi had done that in a concert and now every teen was following his footsteps. It became a norm.

Buying a million roses was also overused. The world-renowned Doctor Muraki had done that for some guy. Boring.

How about buying other stuff? Well, the great guitarist Hiroshi had done so by buying seven thousand seven hundred and seventy-seven sticks of Pocky and seven hundred and seventy-seven four-leaved clovers courtesy of the Clover Patch café when he proposed to the rock-god Sakuma Ryuichi.

Yuki Eiri had written a song for his boyfriend.

It was all overused.

Yohji _had_ to think of something original to give to Omi. He didn't like being unoriginal. He had to impress his chibi. He knew that Omi would accept anything that came; he was a simple boy with simple tastes and he wasn't all that demanding. But Yohji wanted something special. Something… just right for the two of them. Maybe writing a virus for him… but that was bound to be difficult for anyone who didn't even know basic HTML, what more advanced programming.

Writing…?

Yohji smirked, extinguishing the last of his cigarette.

_______________________

_It was a dark and stormy night. The wind was howling, and the rain was pouring down in buckets as the clouds wept. But it seemed a very normal day in the Weiß division. The great P.I. Kudou Yohji had been given a new task to take – the spirit of a boy, back to Kritiker to be judged._

_He puffed on his cigarette as he looked at the photograph._

_"That's Tsukiyono Omi, a hacker in Tokyo. For some reason, he continues to live even though he's lost his will to go on," the redhead pushed the files away, towards Yohji. "It's your job to bring him back here, Balinese. Don't make any mistakes."_

_Yohji smirked. "I won't. I guarantee you that, Abyssinian."_

_Abyssinian didn't smile._

_"Well, I'm off!"_

_______________________

"Aya-kun, have you seen Yohji-kun anywhere?"

Aya looked pointedly at Yohji's room. "He's in there. Says he's busy."

"Oh…" Omi seemed a little crestfallen. "Thanks anyway, Aya-kun! I'll just have to look for another person to go with me to the concert."

"Well, why don't you ask Ken instead?" the redhead suggested blandly. Omi shifted his weight from one foot to another, a little edgy. Ken and Aya hadn't made out… um, up yet.

"Yeah, I think Ken-kun might like that."

"So would I," Aya turned away, sulking.

"Aya-kun…"

"Go and have fun tonight," the redhead patted Omi on his head. And that was that. Omi knew better than to argue with Aya. Never mess with a redhead mother. Things could get ugly.

"Thanks, Aya-kun," Omi smiled as he skipped off to invite Ken out. The redhead leaned back and sighed. Things weren't going too well just then. Why hadn't he let that dratted Kudou out that night to get smashed? Then none of this would have happened! He wouldn't have fought with Ken, and he wouldn't hate Aya all the more now…

_______________________

_… He was an angel. A pure white angel fading in the dark of the world. Yohji now knew, that P.I. or not, Kritiker or not, he was never going to sacrifice one so beautiful. He may be in the wrong, but what he was doing was for the right reasons… Yohji knew, in his hearts of hearts, that that was what anyone would do too. And so, he was determined to protect, and not kill this person whom he was supposed to bring back to Kritiker._

_Not now. Not ever._

_The dark-honey blond gasped as he turned around, his deep, blue eyes darting around the room to scan for his assailant… whoever… whatever they may be._

_"…Who's there?"_

_A dead silence, it was colder than a grave._

_Omi drew up a large metal rod, trying to infiltrate the darkness. There was a snap and a tapping of feet ahead of him. Without thinking, he swung the rod. It hit… some soft body._

_______________________

"Ne, Ken-kun?" Omi stared up timidly at his teammate.

"Hmm?"

"Are you… do you hate Aya-kun?"

Ken paused for a moment. "No… what makes you say that, Omi?"

"Well, each time I see you and Aya-kun together, you're both either always fighting, squabbling or ignoring each other. I thought you hated him. And just this morning, he suggested to me about taking you out to give him a peaceful time… well; he sort of implied it. Ken-kun… it troubles me. I don't want us to fight amongst ourselves."

"I guess not," Ken smiled wryly. It was true that they squabbled often. It just got worse that morning. "Look, Omi, I'll try to fix things as best as I can… I'm sorry if I can't, but I _will_ try."

"Thanks, Ken-kun!" Omi grinned back, but in his heart he was doubtful. It was, on Ken's part, easy to say, as it was to do it, Ken was open and naturally friendly, if not a little hotheaded at times. But with Aya it was an entirely different matter. He was mysterious, and Omi didn't think the terms 'friendly' and 'open' were found in the redhead's dictionary. He chewed on the straw he still held in his hands.

"Aya's a good person. He'll forgive me, okay?" Ken laughed as they slipped in amongst screaming fans that were waving pink bunnies in the open air. "Come on! Stop thinking so much and enjoy the show!"

_______________________

_… And in the heat of their embrace, the crashing aftermath of their primal and yet gentle lovemaking, Yohji smiled. It was his Eden, which he had turned his back upon, if only for a brief moment. He knew that it would never last… but he would no doubt hope against hope that it will…_

_A groan brought him back to earth. "Yohji-kun…?"_

_"Shh… I'm here. Don't worry."_

_"… I…" the youth snuggled closer to the man. "Do you think they'll come for us?"_

_"Omi, the only reason why Kritiker is after you is because they believe that you're somehow tied up to the black-hearted, murderous demon-king, Takatori Reiji. That guy has overthrown his own brother, thus causing the establishment of Kritiker… You were just his pawn, trying to protect your brothers…"_

_"They're not my brothers!" the hacker shot up; "At least, I don't believe so anymore. None of my kin would be such monsters!"_

_"And so wrongly said, my dear!"_

_A crack of a gunshot was heard through the dark. The fat figure of a man with strange hair stood by the battered doorway, expressing his morbid amusement with his horrid, sinister chortle. Yohji's eyes grew wide with fury, and pain – there lay lifeless, his… his…_

_"NOOOO!"_

_______________________

"Kudou?"

_Clack, clack-clack, clack…_

"Are you in there?" Aya rapped at the door with slightly increased force. It was all too mysterious. First, Kudou had locked himself in his room claiming to be busy, and by the sounds of it, he was. Next, a girl had called up asking him out, but he had flatly refused. It was all too… un-Yohji for Aya's liking.

"Yeah… just hold on a sec…"

"Whatever," Aya folded his arms, smirking as he leaned against the side of the doorway. "What's with all that clack-a-clacking, Kudou? Finally found enough live brain cells to start on your long-forgotten report?"

Yohji's eyes widened. The report!

"You're not working on the report?" Aya lifted a brow.

"Nah… well, I'll do that later." Yohji resumed typing fervently. Curious, the redhead let himself in. Leaning by Yohji's side, his smirk melted into an amused smile… and for the first time of his life, the redhead burst out laughing. Yohji turned to look at him, annoyed. "What's so funny?"

"Kudou Yohji, Balinese and P.I. extraordinaire, writing _fanfiction_?" Aya grinned wickedly; "And Yaoi at that. You wait till Tsukiyono and Hidaka hear about this. You're never going to sleep in peace tonight, Kudou."

"Now, how in hell do you know what fanfiction is, and most of all Yaoi… you… you asexual amoeba?" Yohji retorted.

"First of all, I'm not asexual, as I do not reproduce within myself, secondly, I'm a human and not an amoeba nor an orc, and thirdly, I write them," Aya lazily checked his fingernails as he leaned against the wall. Really, Aya had a thing for leaning, well, apparently at least for that night. Yohji goggled at him.

"You what?"

"My penname's Yuki Eiri." At Yohji's (if possible) extra-shocked look, Aya threw a hard-covered book at him. "Idiot. Of course it's not. But whatever it is, I do it."

"Penname?"

"Fujimiya Aya," the redhead replied, his voice suddenly quiet. It hadn't occurred to Yohji that that name had any significant meaning to it, and it didn't now, either. To Yohji, Aya was what they called the redhead. There was nothing more to it other than the fact that Aya liked being called a girl's name, since he was officially their mother. Well, heh, heh.

"Figures."

"You need a beta-reader before you show your 'chibi' that."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Long enough," the redhead smiled, a small smile, barely visible, but it was there and it softened his usually cold features. "Your style of writing's pretty poetic and seems fit for major tragedy and angst… but for your sake and Tsukiyono's, I think you might sport a happy ending."

"Great premonition, as usual, master," Yohji muttered sarcastically.

"Wow. That's so original, Hiroshi."

"Why, thank you," Yohji batted his eyelashes, cupping his face with his hands, his voice pitched high in mock falsetto.

"Well, now, I'll leave you to your…" Aya flashed an uncharacteristic sweet smile as his keen lavender eyes darted across the text; "primal yet gentle fantasies."

"If it makes you feel better, do know that I copied your words, wisecrack."

"All the more to thank me for."

"You're such a catty bitch, Aya."

"Mreow," the redhead winked and sauntered out of the door, leaving a stunned Yohji behind.

--~+~*~+~--

"Whoa! That was some show!" Ken exploded. Omi grinned back jubilantly.

"I knew those tickets were worth it! I scrimped so much for it!"

"You were meaning to take Yohji with you, weren't you?"

Omi stopped short, flushing a pale crimson. "N-No, Ken-kun! Asking you out is good! You're a lot of fun!"

"You know that that isn't what I meant," Ken folded his arms. "You like Yohji, don't you?"

There was no fooling Ken. He observed more than people normally credited him to, for ignorant as he was, Ken was quite susceptible to people's feelings. He felt for them. Their pain, their anguish, their happiness and their laugher, and what was more, he cried and laughed with them if they would let him. Ken was a good friend to have.

Omi stared at him, rather forlornly. "And what will come of that?"

"There, there… I'm sorry," Ken patted the youth on his shoulder. "I know it's late, but I know a 24-hour ice cream shop near home where we can have a sundae, if you get my drift."

"That sounds good, Ken-kun."

_______________________

_… "The deed is done," Abyssinian declared openly as he wiped the traces of blood off his katana. "May you rot in hell, Takatori."_

_Yohji clenched his fist, his eyes trained on the blood-covered ground. It was decorated as if with the heads of red peonies – the flowers of the dead. The scent of Black Death arose, and aroused the bitter hatred in the brunet's heart._

_"Why…?"_

_"Yohji?" Siberian started towards his fellow colleague, but stopped as he looked into the flashing dark green eyes._

_"WHY?!"_

_"It's over, Kudou," Abyssinian stated curtly, but his voice was vaguely gentle and he held his hand out. "Come. Come with us…"_

_"Where?" Yohji spat. "Back there, where you can sack me and kill me, as I'm no longer worthy as an agent of yours anymore? Where Persia can torment me more, as he had tormented his… nephew? If you truly hated Takatori, why are you working for him?"_

_"Oh, Kudou," Abyssinian could only sigh; it was safe now to use his name. "I won't tell you not to cry, for not all tears are evil. But all the same, you are a man, and an angel of death. One death of a dearly departed should never break you."_

_And in the grim darkness, he smiled, his smile bright enough to drown the inky blackness of the skies._

_"Or make you turn away from an eternal Eden, as long as you will it to be."_

_______________________

"Hi everybody!"

"Hello, Tsukiyono," Aya half-smiled as the honey blond bubbled through the front door. "Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yes, Aya-kun!" Omi bounced excitedly. "You won't believe what happened! Ken-kun and I went to eat ice cream, and there in one corner was Sakuma Ryuichi! He saw us and waved to us and asked us what we thought of his show! Nakano-sama was there too, and when what we said pleased Sakuma-sama, he was pleased too and he told us that Bad Luck was staging a concert near here next month!"

"That's nice to hear," Aya then glanced at Ken, who was slowly escaping upstairs. "Hidaka."

"Um… yeah?"

"I need a word with you."

"Well, I'm off, Ken-kun, Aya-kun! Goodnight and thank you!" Omi skipped up the steps to his room. As he left, Aya trained his lavender eyes on Ken, folding his arms.

"What?"

"You gave Omi ice cream at this time of the night?"

"Aww! C'mon Aya! It's summer!"

"He'll be hyperactive tonight. I don't think even the extraordinary vigor of the insatiable Kudou Yohji can contain him."

"What…?"

"Let's just say," Aya smiled as he placed his flawless white hand on his stomach; "That I have a itty-bitty little feeling here that something will happen tonight."

And as expected, Ken melted into a puddle of chocolate goo when he saw that smile.

"Ken?"

"Hmm?" Ken hadn't noticed the sudden use of his given name. For now, all was bliss.

"A family with a mother, uncle and a brat isn't complete without a father."

--~+~*~+~--

"Yohji-kun?"

There was no answer. Gingerly, Omi pushed the door open, and walked in. There, in front of the laptop, was Yohji, and he was mumbling softly in his sleep. He smiled, even as the brunet on the table stirred, never showing signs of waking. "You'll catch a cold."

The dark-honey blond fetched his blanket from the bed and draped it round Yohji's shoulders. But just as he turned to leave the brunet in peace, something caught his eye. For a moment he stood still, and then his smile grew wider.

"I love you too, Yohji-kun."

_______________________

_Their mission had ended unexpectedly well that night. If things ran that smoothly all the time for the whole month, Yohji could count on their summer bonus, as well as the paid vacation they were all waiting for._

_"Balinese! Hurry!"_

_"We're going off without you, Balinese," Abyssinian threatened, rapping the car's engine. His facial expression spoke otherwise though, for bland as it always seemed, there was a hint of a mischievous smile on his lips._

_"Coming! You fusspots!"_

_"Who's a fusspot?" Siberian laughed._

_Bombay swung the door open to drag Balinese in, sneaking a quick peck on his cheek as he did so. "We're late!"_

_"Never fear! No party ever starts without the great Kudou here!"_

_The others snorted, and made rude noises as somebody smacked Yohji on his head._

_"OW! Who did that?"_

_"Shut up, Kudou. We're just leaving and we're late."_

_They drove off into the sunset._

~*~ おわり ~*~

Note: Heheheh! How weird na no da! There's a lot of nothing involved here! Please forgive my typos! I read this piece once over, and I might have missed some, if not, plenty.

The fanfiction Yohji-kun wrote was something I took from Yami no Matsuei, except that I changed some scenes… at first I meant it to be the story of Masaki-san and Ayako-chan, and how touching that was… until I realized that I didn't have a good candidate for Tsuzuki (Aya-kun's too fierce and Ken-kun's too hotheaded) and in the end Masaki-san and Ayako-chan were still separated and… they're cousins! They're not Merry and Pippin, mind you. :P

Nah, I have nothing against incest-writers. Nor do I have anything against twincest-writers. ^__^ It's your line of writing, not mine. I can read those occasionally, but not write them. 0__o I can't see myself in the near future writing them and by Manwë, you have everything to thank for that I won't. You DO NOT want me haunting your genre. It's bad luck, I tell you…

I also hurt Takatori's feelings, in case you care. ^__^ Fweeness I feel accomplished!

I'd find it romantic to have someone write a virus to declare their undying love to me, but that's not a really good thing na no da. I can't imagine being that selfish so as to cause to many problems to anyone! So, I'd just like a fanfiction like I made Yohji-kun give Omi-kun! ^__^ It took me a week to crank this out, the flow may be wrong here and there, but I hope that you enjoyed this! Thank you very much for reading!


End file.
